The fact that Danielle, Nanny and Granny have passed away this year fills me with grief.

Danielle - The Warrior

Nanny - Our Rock

Granny - The Peace Maker

Christmas is a rather depressing thought.  

Husband's Home

Seth's back from a business trip. I worried before he left. I mean, fuck this year, right? I was over here worried about worst case scenario, a basket case, reduced to thinking of my life without him. Well, he arrived home last night, and I feel so relieved.
The weather has been been cloudy (gloomy for several days, and today's my fourth day off of work since they cut pt hours) but mild for late November.
I've been sick. The windows have been cracked, I've been lighting candles, and reading.
About to make our crock pot useful.
Back to work tomorrow.

This piece of Kimchee looks about how I've felt lately.

Haiku (Storm)

Abundant grumbling

Harsher thunder growing near

Again, more lightening.

Too Sensitive

My mother is still claiming that I'm "too sensitive" a week before my 37th birthday, and decided to unfriend me from her Facebook page, today.
Right.

WTF, America?

2016; officially the worst year of my life.

Sleepy.

The last time I napped, I woke up to a flooded apartment. It's bad enough that I've developed a phobia of our washing machine, even though it was replaced. (I'd rather run it when my husband is here.)
The dish washer also makes me nervous. And now I'm anxious at the very thought of napping. :( 
I'm sure I'll get over this one day.

Somewhere on the Spectrum?

I'm so emotional watching this Autism Documentary. (The link shows where I paused to write this entry. Not sure how to correctly share from the beginning.)
I was born in 1979, and always seemed to have struggled through school.
I'm a visual learner, and always seemed to thrive one on one teacher time, but received less and less as the years went by. There was just so much I couldn't grasp. In high school, I was put into, then switched from Learning Disabled into Emotionally Disabled classes. 
To this day, I need to be told specifics as to what is expected of me when introduced new duties at work. One of my favorite memories include the smell of coffee coming from a teacher's assistant sitting close to me in elementary school, helping me do my school work.

I remember having meltdowns. The first one I remember having in school was at the end of 5th grade when I was awarded an award by the principal, but I adamantly refused to accept it; ran to the bathroom and cried and cried. When the principal came in after me, I admitted to feeling like they were just giving me award to be fair. I didn't want their pity, and I didn't feel as if I earned any award.

I need verbal praise to be content.

Methodical, and tedious work calms me to the core. Seeing immediate results is also very soothing.

Before

After

Perhaps I am on the autism spectrum. Perhaps not. HF Aspergers? Many of the high functioning characteristics resonates with me. My past makes much more sense in this light.
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